“What exactly is it that you do?”
You may have met me around town or at a mutual friend’s barbecue, but don’t remember… I was the one seeming to dodge your direct question with very general (but true) answers. Why? Well, honestly, because I would really like to finish my bratwurst without you realizing it was your state senator with sauerkraut hanging on her chin. And, in my effort to stay on dinner guest lists in the future, I am desperately trying to avoid politics as a topic.
In this effort to preserve my normalcy in new social situations, I have developed a fun little repertoire of snappy comebacks when asked about my employment. I realized, in a moment of quiet reflection, while sitting in yet another hopeless traffic jam on I-17, that there is a lot to learn from these little downplays of my job. Here’s what I mean…
“I work for the government.”
“Well, actually, I answer to thousands of bosses. It is really impossible to please them all.”
“I spend most of my time in meetings.”
“I am in the business of defining anti-social behavior.”
“It’s kind of like volunteer work because I get paid next to nothing but it is very satisfying.”
“I go through a year-long interview every even numbered year in order to keep my job.”
“Half the people I deal with are ridiculously nice to me. The other half are incredibly abusive.”
“Most people smart enough to do this job are smart enough to not do it.”
The real shocker, though, is when I have run through my entire list of avoidance tactic explanations of my employment and I finally confess that I am a State Senator. The responses I get from “real” people are the most revealing…
#1 Response: “How do you like D.C.?”
#2 Response: “Sooooo. What exactly does a legislator do?” (At which point, I loop back to the snappy comebacks).
