Balloon Boy, Universal Healthcare Inevitability, and other Hoaxes
By Senator Pamela Gorman, (R-AZ)
I will admit it. I watched the silver saucer balloon in horror for an hour. I prayed. I worried. I squinted at the still image with the smudge hanging below the balloon to see if it looked like a falling object. I monitored the Twitter public feed for updated news… Then, I caught wind of some cracks in the story with this thing and started doing some research online while I waited to see if the little boy would be safe when the balloon landed. I discovered the family’s rather unusual behaviors captured on video and uploaded to YouTube (by them?). The characters involved here subjected themselves and their children to being contestants in a reality show, they chose “Wife Swap” as their chance to shine for all of America, they produced a profanity-rich rap video with the six year old lost boy and his brothers, they host a fringe pseudo-science TV show, and they chase deadly storms as a fun family hobby. Ozzie and Harriet, they are not. My cynical instinct told me that there is a good chance the kid was never in the belly of the backyard science project. I start to think that this is possibly a rouse, but more likely a very common kid thing and “Falcon” is likely fine and either hiding or hanging out somewhere completely unaware of his new fame. I am not so far gone in my cynicism, however, that I immediately thought it was a publicity stunt hoax.
Yet the mainstream press ignored all of this weirdness that Internet users were easily discovering and passing around through social media in real time… They droned on and on, continuing to build the hype that there was a 6 year old boy in peril, high above the Colorado landscape. They talked about random and distantly related things, but never invited their viewers to stray far from the story of their choosing and the video feed of a balloon in the air (only slightly less exciting to watch than a white Ford Bronco driving on a freeway). In fact, even when the boy was found alive and hiding in his own home, CNN didn’t interrupt ‘ol Wolfe Blitzer’s banter to inform their viewers. No, I learned that bit of breaking news on Twitter’s public feed first. Roughly 250 strangers “told me” the truth before CNN got around to admitting the kid was fine and was never in harms way and that this part of the ratings-boosting storyline was over. Later, we learned the little boy did it because his screwball parents had told him to do it “for the show” (the kid blurted out the admittance on national TV- oops- from the mouths of babes, as they say). It was a total hoax.
Hoaxes are interesting. They work. They are created to capture our attention and cause us to take interest in and believe in something we otherwise would not. I am surprised there aren’t more big ones like this to point to in history. Mostly they are for fun or for garnering 15 minutes of fame or to kick off a promotion with a big splashy marketing campaign. But, what if there was a hoax created to change your behavior and attitudes about current events? What if one side of a major policy change created the hoax?
I believe the current message of “Olympia Snowe voted with the Democrats for the Healthcare bill, now they will have their 60 votes to push it through on the floor, it is over, go home, nice try, thanks for coming” is a hoax.
Folks, this is not the time to admit defeat and start cutting your losses and spending time doing evaluations of what went wrong in your activism attempt so you can do better next time. On the contrary, THIS IS GO TIME and you should be stepping up your efforts as this bill makes its way through conference committee and then possibly to the floor for a final vote. The press is all talking about how it is all over but the shouting. Where do you think they are getting that message? Why, in the world, would intelligent engaged people who have seen the Obama machine work the press with skillful finesse for years, suddenly start believing the message? Admittedly, even impressive insiders in Washington seem to have lost their faith. But, maybe they really just don’t have faith in the likelihood of the American people to turn it up a notch here in the final seconds of the game clock…
Picture this. A bunch of political strategists are sitting around a table strewn with soda cans and coffee cups among the stacks of polling data and focus group reports. One particularly agitated team member cuts through the chatter with, “Ok, people. We need to focus here. We are losing this damn healthcare debate and we shouldn’t be. We have the press. We have Hollywood. We have the bully pulpits everywhere it matters in federal government. We are losing because of otherwise disengaged Americans who suddenly have decided to put down their fish sticks and Xbox controls and pay attention to public policy. They are playing this game with us using the internet, a technology we CAN’T control (yet), and we have no way to make them stop. What are we going to do to get these people off the backs of our weaker Democrats so we can get this thing done?!” Then, the generally-quiet-but-often-profound PR genius says, “These people just need to decide to stop trying. They need to believe it is pointless and a waste of their time. They will go back to doing whatever it was they did before they started paying attention to public policy debates and that will be that.” Bada-bing. A hoax is born. The hoax is the false reality that” you have lost this battle because it is all over anyway because of one Senate Committee vote. Go home. Nothing to see here, folks.”
I implore you, do not be duped. It isn’t hopeless until the ink is dry on the bill on the president’s desk after the bill has gone a long way from where it is now. You should definitely be sensing an urgency, though, and fighting louder and harder! This is like 22 seconds on game the clock, you are 4th and goal, and you need a touchdown followed by the recovery of an on-side kick, followed by a field goal … It isn’t easy, maybe statistically unlikely, but there is a chance! It is your game to lose, at this point. You still have the ball. Are you going to try and score? Or are you going to accept defeat before the game ends and just start shaking hands with the other team and thinking about what you are going to order for take out on the way home from the game? I think you should stay and fight for the score. But, that’s just me. This actually matters to me a great deal. How much does your freedom matter to you?
This game isn’t over. The idea that it is somehow “over” is little more than a hoax created by a historically proven very savvy group of White House strategists. Or, perhaps it is just a mirage, unintentionally created, but benefitting the Obama administration nonetheless. In any case, don’t fall for it. The “balloon boy” hoax was a nuisance and a huge waste of our time. But the “go home and give up hoax” is much more dangerous for America’s future. That is because when THIS feel-good-yes-we-can-free-healthcare-for-all balloon finally hits the ground, America will gasp when they realize once again that the thing they were hoping to find inside was never really there. And, the joke will be on us. All of us.
